First Contact: How to Start an Extramarital Affair

Once you’ve set up your profile, you’re going to start looking around your chosen site for some appropriate girls to ask out.

Whether this is easy or difficult depends on whether you’re on a good site, of course-on a good site, this will be one of the easiest and most fun parts-like shopping for a new computer, something sleek and updated and excitingly functional-but on a bad site it’ll be like pulling teeth without anything to numb the boredom. Make sure you read our in-depth reviews of married dating sites before committing to one site!

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Once you’ve found some girls you want to ask out, you’ll have to send them an email.

This means you’re taking the first step.

There’s no reason to be really shy and coy on a married dating site. You are trying to hook up with WOMEN, not with young girls who like to play the game. The women on a good site like this will never say that they’re into “a little light flirting” like the girls on a regular dating site might.

They’re here for what they’re not getting from their husbands, and you ARE the one that can provide it to them. If you don’t believe that, you have no business emailing them. That confidence is what is going to reel a woman in, so practice it until it’s perfect.

While this is the first step, don’t expect that it will necessarily go slowly or quickly. These affairs progress at an unpredictable pace most of the time. There’s a REASON for that.

Married women are looking to get laid…AND call the shots.

Top Down View of Couple


A woman with a husband looking for an affair is a woman with something to lose. If you don’t respect that, you’re going to LOSE OUT on your chance to hook up with her.

You have to let her call the shots, or you’re not going to be able to get with her at all. These women have jobs, lives, husbands, and sometimes children that they do NOT want to lose. They want to have a sexy affair, but they want to keep it completely on the DL.

You know this, or you wouldn’t be looking to hook up with a married woman in the first place.

When you’re trying to figure out how to start an affair, it’s important to look at what you want from it-and what your woman will want from it. If you don’t know what you’re both looking for, this affair will be doomed before it gets off the ground.

If you’re not sure how to make sure you’re going to wind up with a woman who wants the same things you want, check out our guide to setting up the perfect online profile. There’s plenty of information there about how to make your profile state EXACTLY what you’re looking for out of your new married dating relationship.

Of course, once you find a woman who’s looking for the same thing as you, who’s absolutely stunning, and who’s interested in you, it’s time to move in for the kill, right?


One of the BIGGEST mistakes men can make is coming across as DESPERATE.

If you seem desperate, this woman is not going to be into you. You also don’t want to look like a guy that can’t get sex anywhere else, do you? That’s a total turn-off for most women, for good reason. You wouldn’t want to bang a girl who couldn’t get laid by any other guy, right? That’s some bargain-bin remnants going on.

One way guys come across as desperate is by coming across as very stressed, and therefore very stressful to be around. Any woman you meet on a married dating site doesn’t want to deal with calming you down. They want an ESCAPE. They want a vacation from laundry and bills and paperwork, they want to leave the snotty noses and vacuuming behind, they want the thrill and excitement of romance back in their lives.

They do NOT want to be your nanny.

If you look or come across as anxious on your profile or in your email to this woman, all bets are off. You don’t want to look like someone that’s going to be a lot of work for her to be around. You want to be the fun guy, the SEX guy, the guy she’s going to hang out with when everything else is just too boring or stressful.

So whatever you do, don’t act like you NEED to have sex with her or you’ll die from it. The only girls who like that are college-age girls who are super attractive and think it’s funny to have men on a leash to tease and make fun of whenever they want.


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