Before we go any further, we need to address the elephant in the room.
There is another man in your married woman’s life.
Yes, this is incredibly obvious, and in a lot of ways this can add to the allure of dating a married woman. The Husband will come up a lot in conversation at first, especially when you’re first planning an affair. You’ll talk about why he’s not doing it for her, why she wants to be with you instead, and why she won’t leave him even though he’s not doing it for her.
This kind of talk RAPIDLY dries up within a couple dates.
For obvious reasons, it’s not all that sexy to talk about another guy with your lover. That can lead to avoiding the subject, which can lead to BIG mistakes in your affair. Much safer is to acknowledge his presence when it’s important, such as when you’re making dates.
You do have to plan around this guy’s schedule. More importantly, your married babe does.
This guy is going to be a part of every plan you make. You’re going to have to work around his life, planning dates for when he’s not around, or for when he can look after the kids and she can find an excuse to slip away unnoticed for at least a few hours with you.
Yes, it sucks. No one likes having to acknowledge the Other Man, and a lot of guys start resenting the Husband.
You’re going to have to respect this.
If you can’t handle dating a married woman, here’s an idea: don’t. Date a single girl, and leave the married babes to the guys that are emotionally mature enough to handle them.
If you CAN handle dealing with a married woman’s life, just know up front that you’re going to be working around it. There are two people (possibly more, if she has children) that she’s working around. You’re only working around one (or more, depending on your own situation).
She’s not going to be at your beck and call.
Make sure you take it easy if she has to cancel plans on you. Yes, it can suck if you want to see her and she’s not available-but that’s just one of the risks of dating a married woman.
The bright side, of course, is that this woman is NOT going to be a huge commitment on your part. You can pretty much just do your own thing until she lets you know that she’s going to be free. You aren’t going to have to always make sure that she’s happy, that she’s okay, that she’s having a good day-she has a husband for that. Your job is to be the fun one.
Basically, it’s the difference between being a dad and being a fun uncle. Don’t tell our married babes we said that, though. Somehow, we don’t think they’ll appreciate it.
You are occasionally going to have to take a backseat.
Shit happens in life. No matter whether you’ve got it together or not, there ARE going to be times that life gets in the way of the things that you want to do. You can’t always depend on having things go your way.
Married life is WAY more complicated than single life. You’re going to have to understand that your married lady is dealing with a hell of a lot more than you are, and she’s going to have times where she can’t meet with you. Sometimes, those times can last for a while.
If you persevere and don’t be a dick about it, she’ll come back. Just don’t try to make her feel bad for wanting to spend some time with the family she committed to.
Of course, you don’t have to be at her beck and call, either.
Just because you want to keep her happy doesn’t mean you have to be completely at her beck and call.
The foundation of a great affair is a relationship that works equally for ALL participants. If she’s always expecting you to drop everything and come running, this might not be the babe for you. You do NOT have to be willing to break all of your plans just because her schedule suddenly opened up, or just because she suddenly has the urge to ditch her husband and see you.
Yes, you can. Being there when she wants you isn’t a bad thing. It’ll make her more inclined to call you often, so if that’s what you want, feel free to give in whenever you want a booty call.
But if it starts to be a problem, and she starts to think of you less as the guy who makes her dreams come true and more as the pool boy, get out.