Social Media Affair Safety

This is the Information Age, for better or for worse.

Everyone is connected via social media, except that weird girl from the art classes in your college who went off the grid and gave everyone her address for “paper correspondence.”

Social media IS a huge part of your everyday life. Even if you don’t see yourself as someone who uses it frequently, you might be surprised by just how pervasive it can be. If you ARE someone who uses it constantly, you still might be surprised by how badly wrong social media can go.

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Social media can out your affair in a second.

Unless you want to get caught cheating (or being with a married cheater), you’re going to have to be VERY careful with your online presence. The thrill of getting caught might be fun in some situations, but having your friends and family learn over Facebook that you’re a dirty cheater is definitely not one of the ones we prefer.

Being cautious is the key to discretion. If you can learn how to at least get social media to not work against you, you’re already ahead of the game, and of the rest of the pack.

Don’t check in.

One of the dumbest mistakes guys have made that has ended marriages is checking in on Foursquare. This is a SHOCKINGLY common issue, and a bunch of guys don’t even know they’re doing it.

The worst part about checking in is that your wife assumes that you were someplace, and might work it into conversation at an unexpected time to throw you off. This can blow a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR ALIBI, and is definitely not worth the hassle.

Disable or uninstall Foursquare. It doesn’t give discounts that are that good anyway, and no one cares that you’re the mayor of yet another chain coffee store today.

Another thing you should disable is auto-tweeting.

If you’re the kind of person who’s always on a cell phone, this can be difficult. Smartphones make everything easier, especially cheating with a married woman!

However, smartphones are also responsible for getting guys caught. They have GPS, which means that you can now be caught anytime, anywhere! Auto-tweeting and other automatic social media behaviors are extremely harmful to the safety of your affair.

Do not take selfies of yourself and your date.

Texting Girl


First of all, selfies are stupid. No one ever looks good in them. You either look like a weirdo if you’re trying to pose, or you come across as very washed-out and unattractive if you aren’t.

There’s a reason that we advocate in our guide to making the best online profile that you should always use a high-quality camera and take a shot from farther away. Up-close face shots with a crappy cell phone camera aren’t going to do anyone justice.

Of course, the worst thing about selfies is that they can be traced. Every photo has a time stamp, and can ALWAYS be traced back to where it came from, eventually. We’re not saying that you’re going to be involved in any kind of dramatic court scene, but if anything DOES happen legality-wise, you’ll be ass-deep in hot water if you’ve been taking selfies.

You’d be shocked how common this is.

This behavior sounds so childish, so immature, and so ridiculous that it’s hard to believe that grown men actually get caught cheating this way. Shockingly, it’s completely true. There are a LOT of guys who’ve been caught cheating in just these easily avoidable ways.

Usually, what happens is that a guy thinks he’s posting to a different profile. That’s why many guys have a profile for dating on social media sites, as well as a profile for his actual friends and family.

We don’t recommend this. You have a profile on Facebook so your family can tell you that yes, we really need rain this year. You have a profile on a married dating site so you can connect with hot married singles in your area who are looking for love (or at least lust).

These AREN’T very advanced married dating tactics. Honestly, this is mostly common sense.

If you can’t be bothered to sign out of everything on your smartphone, leave your phone at home or at work. That way, nothing will give you away. You’ll also have an excuse, however flimsy, for any time someone tries to call you when you’re out with the mistress.


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